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| Like this, only more ninja-y |
Yes, I am aware it has been sometime since my last posting. To be honest, I actually finished the 2nd play, The Muffin Vainglorious, shortly after the first one. I think I mentioned I plan on making a trilogy. If I didnt mention it, well, I am writing a trilogy of plays. Again, it will be pretentious and in your face. But seriously? Yeah, I think Im doing it more just to complete something. Something, that probably I shouldnt have written in the first place. But yeah. Its done and I am currently finishing up the 3rd and final play. I think I tried to put as much as I could in this one, and yes, I managed to put in "ninja butterflies..." Imagine THAT one for a bit. Keep an eye for it.
So here you go...The 2nd in the random and bizzare trifecta that is my writing.
The Muffin Vainglorious
A One-Act
By
Christian Hegg
The Dragon
The Muffin
The Professor
The Fonz
The Walking Dessert
The stage is bare, except for a table and a beanbag chair.
Hit Me With Your Best Shot plays for 10 seconds.
The Muffin, dressed in all black shuffles on stage. He carries a pie. The music stops.
The Muffin
I trust the inside of the evolutionary mandates.
He proceeds to eat the pie.
The Muffin
Endless wanton and tirades!
The Professor enters from SR, dressed in a nice classic suit carrying a book.
The Professor
In 1888, the time of the happy wildebeests encroached on the space robots of Toron.
He jumps up and tries to use the book as a flying device. He exits SL.
Video Killed The Radio Star plays.
The Muffin takes out his cellphone, dials, and waits. The music stops
The Muffin
Realizations seep within the ugliness of my soulllll!
Yes, I’ll hold…
He proceeds to do the moonwalk, then jumps on the table.
The Muffin
I will wait indefinitely for the coming of the oncoming…
He hangs up the phone.
The Walking Dessert enters SR.
The Walking Dessert
(in a high pitched voice)
I am a strudel!
She exits SL.
The Muffin
Happy days….They come and go like some sort of beast of creation. Oh what ho! Thusly, yes indeed for sooth.
The Fonz enters SL and crosses to the table. He slams down on it with his fist.
Working For The Weekend starts to play.
The Fonz
Heyyyyyyyeeee!
He exits SR.
The Dragon enters, SL, with a pair of socks filled with other socks. He crosses to the table. He hands one to the Muffin. The Muffin jumps off the table. The music stops.
The Dragon
I am the life. What is the mortal coil we face ever day of the new ideals of the frustrations? Indeed.
The Muffin
Indeed!
The Professor enters SR with a pair of angel wings on his back. He carries a pipe and book.
The Professor
In 2045, the uprising of the ninja butterflies overcame the silent death of the Children of Appaloosa. It was a marvelous day and much butterflies danced.
Drive by The Cars, starts to play.
He proceeds to flap his arms and attempts to fly off stage. He exits SR.
The Dragon and The Muffin meet CS and start flailing uncontrollably, yelling various battle cries. They proceed to fight. Then they freeze. The Fonz enters SR and crosses to the table.
The Fonz
Heyeeeeeeeeeeeee!
He slams the table. Safety Dance starts to play
The Fonz
Heyyyyyyeeeeeeee!
He struts off SL in slow motion. As he exits, The Dragon and Muffin proceed to battle. It is a ridiculously choreographed dance. The Muffin is triumphant.
The Muffin
I am the life! I am Vainglorious.
Black Out.
Wow...Am I reading the same thing? This is really messed up. Though, I do appreciate that I managed to put the Fonz in a setting that doesn't really change who he is. Still the same guy, just in a different world.
Well, there you go. The 2nd play is now done and I will post the third probably sooner rather than later...Then Ill probably just say screw it, and send it out the various theatre companies and see if anyone will actually produce it...Or lock me up.
I do have some sort of artistic drive behind this play. I mean, I COULD justify it about how chaotic life can be, or how dreams really effect us, or some bizzare form of therapy. I like to write to some extent, and I think I just wanted to see how far I could push the envelope on this one. It is essentially a sequel, with the same characters. I think Im just trying to justify everything so I don't come off as a nutjob...Well...Maybe the play is a BIT crazy, but whats a little craziness...So much for keeping up with this blog, though...
However, I can tell you right now, the third one WILL BLOW YOUR MIND.
Haha.
Stay tuned...
