So the other day, my roommate, Shawn is listening to one of Genesis' early album, Selling England By The Pound, which needless to say, is a freaking trainwreck. He was actually listening to it for his own blog, The Album DuJour, (thealbumdujour.blogspot.com). Not because he wanted to, but because he wants to have a better understanding of all types of music. Like me, I want to have a better understanding of being more random and....UGHHH...I totally had something there...
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| Like this, only more pretentious |
Anyways, during our listening, I got overwhelmed by the pretentiousness of the album and started ranting and raving myself. I spouted lyrics like "Annnnd the Dragon eats the muffiiiiin..." Then a light turned on. This is the album that sparked this blog. The TRUTH COMES OUT.
So I decided to write a play....And I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA...Ok seriously here it is.
The Dragon Eats the Muffin
A One-Act Play
By
Christian Hegg
Cast of Characters:
The Dragon
The Muffin
The Referee
Bob Dylan
The Walking Dessert
The stage is bare, except for a chair and table. On the table sits a small egg timer.
The Dragon, ears, tail, everything, in a tuxedo, enters SR. He sits, picks up the egg timer and sets for a certain amount of time.
DRAGON
What sooth! I hunger for the life.
A random track off of Genesis’ Selling England By The Pound starts in the background.
DRAGON
Oh life that cherishes the small things…Thusly…
Bob Dylan, sunglasses and guitar, enters SL. He comes down to CS.
BOB DYLAN
(Incomprehensible singing)
He exits SR
DRAGON
I hunger for the life.
Another random track off the Genesis album starts playing.
DRAGON
The life I seek and its small platitudes. Thusly, I must pursue it at all costs. I want to dance the life to see it trip the Fandango.
Another random track plays.
The Dragon starts to dance, not at all with the music. It is hauntingly beautiful.
The egg timer goes off. The music stops.
The Dragon sits back down. He resets the timer.
Bob Dylan enters from SL. He comes down to CS.
Bob Dylan
(Incomprehensible singing)
He exits SR.
The Muffin enters from SR. It is dressed in all brown and carries a muffin in each hand. He climbs on top of the table and stands tall. The timer goes off.
The Muffin
Choose life. It is hilarious. Dance the thousand dances. With me.
Another random track plays for 10 seconds. Then stops.
The Muffin
Life is a chosen discovery we must use to find the answers. I welcome it. I am the life.
The Referee, dressed as a traditional referee, enters from SL. He walks and raises both his arms and blows the whistle. It’s a touchdown! He runs to reset the timer.
The Walking Dessert comes in SR. She is glorious.
The Walking Dessert
(in a high pitched voice)
I am a parfait!
She exits SL.
Another random track plays for 5 seconds. Then stops.
The Referee exits SL.
The Muffin
Sanctity and choice. They are the brother and sister of the fandango.
The Dragon
Thusly.
Bob Dylan enters yet again. This time he has a kazoo in the place of his guitar. He comes down to CS. The timer goes off.
Bob Dylan
(Incomprehensible singing and kazoo playing)
Another random track plays. Bob Dylan starts dancing like he has ants in his pants. He then runs up to the table, high fives the Dragon, then exits SL. The music ends.
The Dragon
We are all pawns in the life of choosing. I seek the wondrous lights of tomorrow and yesteryear.
The Muffin
I am the calling of the hour. We must destroy our wants and needs.
He proceeds to eat the first muffin.
The Dragon
I will destroy us in order for life to continue.
He eats the second muffin.
The Referee comes back on stage, carrying two plastic lightsabers. He hands the Dragon and Muffin each a lightsaber. The Dragon and Muffin come CS. The Referee stands between them. He blows his whistle and dances crazily.
Another random track starts playing. The Dragon and Muffin start fighting. The Dragon wins.
The Dragon
I am life. I have eaten the muffin.
Black out
I hope this gets produced. Doubtful. Random thoughts on paper. I found when I was writing this, things just came to me...That, and I wanted to be as annoying as possible in writing. All of it kind of makes no sense. Who am I kidding? None of it does. After I wrote it, I read it and was shocked by the actual structure. I think when it came to creating some sort of arc, I probably succeeded. Ha. This as far from serious I thought I could get. The thing is, there are probably people out there that will probably take this first one seriously. That would be something.
Wow...This play is REALLY bad. Ha.
Stay tuned.
Wow...This play is REALLY bad. Ha.
Stay tuned.
